Since my last post, I've had 3 acupuncture sessions and done my VERY best to stay on the food diet Dr. Pins n' Needles put me on - sadist that she is.
The following is a list of foods I can no longer eat (at least for a while): no red meat, pork, dairy, animal fat, vegetable fat, wheat, chocolate, beer, wine, or alcohol of any kind. And NO SUGAR or foods with artificial flavors or colors.
It's a boring palate. Which explains why I fell from grace (moderately of course): 6 glasses of red wine, 3 margaritas, two beers, champagne, 2 glasses of white, a slice of pizza, feta on everything, a hot dog, fries (and gravy), a lemon cake, a bag of chocolate eggs and crab dipped in enough melted butter to worry all the pastry chefs in the world that there might be a shortage if I keep it up.
Oh dear...
What started as a perfectly acceptable short list (in the interest of denial) turned into an embarassingly detailed confession.
But that was only week 2. I was a saint for the first 10 days, I swear. I'll get back on track. And really, I have loads to celebrate. For one thing, I now own a cat.
Don't ask me why. I don't even know why.
It's possible I'm having a mid-life crisis and I'm replacing any dwindling ambition I might have with something fun and furry that will provide me with the perfect excuse not to burn the candle at both ends, (which I am apt to do) but I don't know for sure.
All I know is I woke up possessed one Sunday morning with the specific goal of coming home with a furry beast and then begged an unsuspecting accomplice to accompany me so I wouldn't change my mind.
Perhaps I simply wanted a non-human to teach me the long lost art of relaxation once and for all. And just for the record, I wasn't going to pick up any old stray. But whatever plans I originally had to drive up and down the streets of a sleepy suburb fell short when I realized catnapping was a federal offense.
No. I had to do this right. I would let the feline pick me.
Whatever stray liked me enough to follow me around and rub himself up against me was going to be swimming in Friskies for the rest of his (or her) life - as long as he wasn't too needy.
I was after all, still a commitaphobe and sharing my space without wanting to banish him to the hall or couch every night was going to take some deep breathing exercises and maybe a few Xanax.
But if no cat chose me, then I had my answer. I wasn't about to pick someone I had to support without some entertainment value or reciprocal cuddleability. I was prepared to stay single.
This had to be a mutual relationship.
And pick me, he did. What's more, he's a 'chill' cat. As a bonus, he's a social cat and likes everybody. And he could care less about toys, which means I don't have to entertain him.
Bonus.
If he wasn't a cat, I might have just described my perfect boyfriend.
His name is Rodin (after the French sculptor) but I call him Pumpkin. Which makes no sense because he's black and looks like a little panther and I don't think anyone who saw a panther in the wild would ever be inclined to call it 'Pumpkin'.
'Killer' maybe, or 'Zorro' but never 'Pumpkin'.
Nevertheless, he's 7. Which in people years, makes us about the same age. It's a match made in heaven. He wants to lay around on me all day long and I like the feeling of a hot water bottle.
What's more, he'd been living in the shelter for 4 years. His owner had to give him up because she was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor. She was young, and with two small children still at home.
That story pretty much sealed it for me.
Anyway. Whatever possessed me to seek him out follows the same line of reasoning that is also possessing me when it comes to my health.
I think it has to do with being in the feel good stage of life. Whatever short (or long) term plan can improve the quality of my life is going to garner some serious attention whether it's a pet or a diet.
The same goes for choosing friends. Or Work. Even a partner.
Maybe, especially that.
Suffering is out of the question. I've done enough of that.
So for now, acupuncture it is. (And with it, the damn diet that in spite of my complaints, makes me feel ten years younger).
And of course, Hello Kitty.
