Life, Love and the Art of Dreaming Big
That's the new blog title. Okay, it was. After taking a survey and getting some emails, I was reminded that one blog was probably enough. So I've decided to add to this one.
Chances are, I will take a break before writing my first post. (Which it turns out, I did)...
On Saturday, I leave for L.A. where I will be visiting my friend Jim for a week of surf n' turf. (Surfing the beaches n' boardwalks, while turfing this minus 30 degree weather).
So I may have to post from the Cal-I-for-NI-A.
How could I not have a good story or two about breakfast at the Fig Tree restaurant with some of Jim's film buddies?
I'll be positively bursting at the seams to share.
And if you haven't checked out Jim's blog, please do so - it's just been named one of the top 50 movie blogs by MovieMaker magazine.
This accolade will be officially announced at Sundance. That's quite an honor.
TRAVEL DAY is about pulling together an indie film and is filled with all kinds of behind the scenes look at making movies (mostly in Hollywood, both past and present).
Top 50.
That's not too shabby for a guy from Swan River who followed his dreams...
Speaking of which...
Here's a quick Six Month review and wrap-up before I say good-bye to this chapter.
What I accomplished and learned in the Six Month Experiment covering the main areas of focus:
1. finances, 2. career, 3. relationships: friends and family/love interests, 4. community-minded work (ie; giving back), 5. physical health, 6. personal, and 7. the 'fun factor'.
1. finances.
My income is the same. I'm a sub. And though my income is lower compared to those of my beloved colleagues with teaching contracts, in my humble opinion, (for my lifestyle), it's better.
Herein lies the relative income factor compared to absolute income. (see Tim Ferris' work).
I have no prepping, no marking, no grading, no report cards, no meetings, no politics, and no stress (unless you're one of those people who can't handle 6 am calls to sub in a school where you might want to bring ear plugs and a bodyguard).
But I'm cool with that.
Because at the end of the day when the bell rings, I go home and have no lingering obligations, no guilt, and whatever stress I might have had during the day, disappears like Houdini.
I equate more freedom - whether it's psychological or physical - as a positive example of the benefits of relative income. Besides, I work fewer hours, no weekends, and don't supervise extra-curricular activities.
When it comes right down to it, broken down to an hourly wage, I might actually make the same.
What did I learn?
That my quality of life is extremely important to me. More than money (once the basics are looked after).
And it's not something I will ever give up again for a few bucks more. (A million maybe, but not a few). And even then...
2. career.
On my transition to becoming a self-employed writer...
I wrote a book. Got an agent. It was officially sent to publishers on January 25, 2010 for consideration.
Things are looking up.
What did I learn?
Perseverance and patience.
That nobody owes you anything. And that you can't want something so much that it makes you miserable. Life is not about waiting, it's about being.
All you can do is work for what you want, pray like hell, and then let it go.
3. relationships: friends and family/love interests.
"Love interests" a.k.a. that 'significant other' potential remains an elusive proposition in spite of my being open-minded (and attempting some interesting date options).
I'm constantly swaying between hope and nope!
I am officially off Match.com and will attempt to work on myself a little more this spring - both in the daring department and allowing the possibility of something good to happen (as I was almost convinced otherwise).
For now, being single is a choice I embrace because I want to, not because I have to. There are lots of fish in the sea. (Trust me ladies, the possibilities are endless).
As for relations with friends and family? Better than ever. Partly because I have learned to establish some boundaries for personal space and address a problem more quickly when something is bothering me.
For example, I say "No" when my tank is empty and now do for others when I want to, not because it's part of my call to duty.
What did I learn?
Just because you say 'no' doesn't mean people will love you any less. Most people would rather you gave of yourself authentically than out of obligation. Matter of fact, it improves relations.
Just because you're choosing to stay single doesn't mean you're giving up on love - you're just taking a break from trying.
Just because you've been disappointed and it feels like that knife in your chest is there for good, it isn't.
That old feeling can come back in an instant.
Before you know it, you'll be necking in the front seat of a car like you did when you were sixteen and you'll thank God he built the human body with enough lust-induced intoxicating features that it makes tequila shots look like child's play.
It's all good...
4. community-minded work (ie; giving back) I can't honestly say I've done anything differently yet in this regard that I haven't always done.
I make a conscious effort to treat every individual with dignity, respect and non-judgement. As for the 'bigger picture'? I have yet to figure that out (and where) I need to extend myself when the time comes.
And it will come.
5. physical health
I went to the gym religiously. I got really sick. I stopped going. I'll be picking up where I left off after my vacation. And I forgive myself for my unpredictable hiatus.
I don't diet anymore. I'm simply changing my eating habits for life. As a result, I feel better, I'm just a little leaner, but I'm becoming happier dans ma peau (ie; in my own skin) as the author of "French Women Don't Get Fat" would say.
Which by the way, is a book I recommend to all women.
What did I learn?
You can't rush healing. And you have to honor your body in the process, not be mad at it for not fixing itself more quickly. After all, most of it is still working magically, there's just one part fighting like hell (on your behalf I might add), to get better. Respect it. How could you not?
And - being healthy is a process, not a goal.
6. personal
Well, I'm not fluent in Spanish as I had hoped, but it's still on my list.
I have however, begun to meditate (sometimes successfully and at other times, it's like a big joke). But I also finally realize the benefits I will receive if I at least attempt to do it on a regular basis.
I'm working on myself.
Whatever 'blocks' I had to my success - both personal and career-wise - bit me like a rattler when I was sick. Except there was no tail-shaking to warn me. It just showed up when I was at my weakest physically so I was forced to deal with it.
And it wasn't pretty.
What did I learn?
You can only ignore how you really feel about yourself (deep down inside) for so long. Sooner or later, it will affect you no matter how good you are at denial. (And believe me, I was the Queen of Da Nile).
So deal with it. If you don't, I guarantee your own subconscious will eventually paint you into a corner so you can.
7. the 'fun factor'.
I have had more fun with this experiment and in my social life this year, than I have had in a long time. Maybe ever.
It's a combination of maturation, stability, and being open to all possibilities.
I'm going to California. And I will plan at least one more big vacation this year, though the goal is four per year. One every season. I think that's reasonable.
What did I learn?
That the happier I am, the happier are those around me.
And although it sometimes feels that doing things for myself is a selfish act, it's quite the opposite. Because it reminds people that true love begins with the self.
Final thoughts...
Being joyful is infectious.
Having dreams fuels your life.
Working on them gives voice to your days.
Remember: Live well, love fully and always dream big.
See you on the next blog...
p.s. many thanks to my regular readers and Jim for his continued support...
as for my AP... well... sista, I could not have done it without you... xox
