This can be an intense time of year for some...
And as much as I can come off sounding like hard-core Xmas Beatch, (making fun of the whole do it like the Jones's shopping frenzy), I'm also part n' parcel with the whole drink like you love Jesus crowd.
Which I do. Drink and love, that is. (Drink in moderation, Love in excess)
I love Jesus, Buddha, Krishnamurti, and all the rest who advocated a philosophy of peace in this crazy world. I'm not biased.
But, the Messiah and I do share a birthday. So we're like... twins.
Oh yeah, it wasn't easy growing up Catholic with a bday on the 25th of December. I felt guilty for EVERYTHING.
I'll never forget using the F word for the first time...
...that was bad enough, but it took me years before I could expropriate the phrase Jesus Christ! for a really effective vent and not squeeze my eyes closed and cringe in preparation for the worst - like being whisked away to hell at any moment for my blasphemy.
But just like those Virgnia Slims ads used to say: "You've come a long way Baby".
Now, when something really ridiculous happens in my life and it suddenly dawns upon me that I've been "blessed" with yet another lesson (lucky me), I can now look up to the sky and declare:
What the fuck? AGAIN? Jesus Christ, haven't you guys had enough fun at my expense yet??? ...
...without so much as flinching.
But it's all good.
Because ironically, my relationship with the Divine has increased exponentially with every lesson learned, and so the intent behind my blasphemy is infused with humor, knowing it's all going to turn out alright in the end.
I talk to the Divine the way you'd talk to your sister when she calls you out on something you did that was really stupid and although you want to be mad as hell at her for it, (because you're so busted), you know she's right so it lacks that "I'm gonna kick your ass for saying that" factor.
So as I enter the eve of my birthday, I begin to reflect on Christmases past, present and future, knowing like me, they only get better with every passing year.
Like my swearing factor, I've become more relaxed about the process of life in general.
So prepping for the holidays?
Well, that's a piece o' birthday cake.
I'm surrounded by people I love - gone are the days when I didn't think I'd make it through the holiday season alive, (and I mean literally) because tensions were so high with an ex who simply could not fathom what a normal life was, he would violently wreck anything good that existed around him.
Festivities were the worst.
He couldn't help it. He simply had insecurities so deep buffered by a mental illness so twisted that anything resembling normal or fun set him off on a rampage and I was often the target.
Like I said, I'm lucky to be alive.
So with each passing year, instead of worrying that I'm one year older, with one wrinkle more, I look up to the sky and say:
"Holy Fuck. Am I one lucky son-of-a-bitch or what?... Christ Almighty, but it's been a good year! Thanks for keeping me alive way back when..."
...and toast to the Divine...
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May your celebrations be immersed in love, kindness, a kick back attitude and rockin' good times
