I realize this is not always feasible, as daily implementation of the “as if” philosophy can easily lead one down the prickly road of denial.
But for the most part... it ROCKS IF you apply the practical aspects required to make your dream life a reality.
Jack Canfield (of “Success Principles” and Chicken Soup For the Soul phenomenon) explains an activity that gives people the opportunity to feel what it would be like if they had actually accomplished all of their dreams and then some.
He suggests you throw an “as if” party with your closest friends and everyone must show up donning the persona they have become five years from now assuming their ‘best case scenario’ for the fruition of all their hopes and dreams.
The only rule is you must stay in character for the duration of the party. Which means you must speak to others as the success they envision themselves to be and also dress, act, and most of all exude the confidence you would possess in your most ideal state.
Just thinking about it makes me want to put on that little black dress, throw my shoulders back, toss my hair around (long and full of body with the best extensions money can buy) and say “Oh stop, it was nothing!” in response to another guest complimenting me (yet again) on one of my achievements.
Gosh darn but it’s fun!
And if you don’t believe me, try it. Ask a few close friends if they would be interested in coming to a party at your house (everyone pitches in for good caviar and a little champagne), based on this premise - just watch as people start to giggle at the thought that they can pretend to be whatever it is they’ve always dreamed of. Everyone’s energy automatically rises.
It’s the ultimate costume party because you get to dress from the inside out as anything you want to be.
And for those of you who are pshawing and murmuring under your breath that this party should be called, “Yeah, right, as if” with a sarcastic undertone all I have to say to you is - we all do it in life anyway, but in such bits and pieces that it doesn’t have the same magnitude as actually declaring a party in honor of what we COULD BE.
Take for instance the actual names of these two co-ed soccer teams in my hood:
“We’ll Bury You Cockroaches” and “Multiple Scoregasms.”
I love those names. Each one cracks me up.
But beneath that laughter is also an underlying message to the other team: We’re gonna kick your asses from here to the moon.
It’s all in good fun but it’s also competitive - as much as a no-ref, few rules, friendly kind of game can be (which trust me, can be really intense).
Think about it. Nobody in their right mind would ever call their team, “The Has Beens”, or “The Try Hards”.
Because I think deep down inside we all want to be the best version of ourselves possible and prefer to see a win in every situation we face.
And these desires rise through the cracks of our life and society constantly, manifesting themselves in the names of teams, our obsession with people who have ‘made it’, and even our desire to look our best when we go out on the town.
It’s just that somewhere along the way, we started to think maybe we weren’t entitled to live up to our own expectations.
Either we had an inner bully that told us we didn’t deserve it, or an outer bully in the form of negative and destructive naysayers, or parents that wanted us to live a safe, secure existence because essentially it meant that they could stop worrying about us.
Or maybe, we were simply surrounded by people who were apathetic about life - their own and existence in general. (Perhaps the most draining of all dream-busters).
Basically, there are two kinds of people who teach us subconsciously (or consciously if we’re aware) of how we want to live by their own example:
Those who teach us how to be and those who teach us how not to be.
And what I have learned is neither method is more valuable than the other.It's all a matter of what you get out of it.
NEXT - How I learned how not to be (and from who)...
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