The first three months was about waking up to your own potential.
The last three months is going to be about owning it.
In little more than a week, I will be at the mid-point of my Six Month Experiment. Almost time to take public stock of my progress.
And all I can think is: I was out of my frakkin’ mind going public with this Life Experiment.
This blog thing is like being in the mob. Once you’re in you can’t get out, ‘cause everybody knows the deal and everyone will know that if you ditch, it means you’re chickening out of a system you can’t handle (and I’m not about to be called ‘yella’ by anyone).
Besides, I set up this game in the first place. I have to abide by my own rules. Win or lose, I’m in for the long haul. It's a life change. (Sigh).
On the upside, there is something about being accountable that gets my adrenaline going. Brings out my competitive nature. On the other hand it could be my ego - maybe I just don’t want to be wrong.
And progress this month feels slow - at least externally - so I’m getting nervous. I have only three months to prove a point.
I don’t expect my life to turn around 180 degrees in six months, but I do expect to set enough of a foundation by then that whatever slips or setbacks I might have after that, will be negligible.
In other words, I’ll be well on my way to a new life, set in a new paradigm.
October’s progress has been difficult to gauge because it felt more like fall cleaning of the mental closet. It’s been more about kicking negative childhood doubts back to Neverland where they belong with Pan and his sycophant fantasy campers who spend their time daydreaming and avoiding reality.
Nobody likes someone who can’t walk their talk. Least of all, me.
And as much as we all want to get on with the business of making huge changes in our lives, old patterns have a nasty habit of jumping up and biting us in the backside when we least expect it.
And the closer we get to our goals, rumor has it, the more we get blasted by our own subconscious self-sabotaging mechanisms. You know, like blowing your chances on purpose because you can’t handle the thought that you might actually deserve something good in your life.
It’s ridiculous. But we all do it.
That’s been my cross this month. And I think I nailed it (no pun intended).
So I better make good on this, or I’m going to look like an idiot.
And on top of it...
As a Canadian I’m in the process of shedding eons of culturally condoned apologetic behaviour known for diminishing the significance of one’s abilities thus conveying an air of acceptance that says, if my ship comes in, it comes in, if it doesn’t it doesn’t - either way it’s okay.
It’s not okay.
It has to come in.
Because I say so.
Tomorrow - Tabulation station - a review of the Seven Principles of Success and my progress thus far.
