July 26, 2009
It’s the end of July. I’m jobless. I’m almost broke. And I couldn’t be more pleased about it because conditions are perfect.
This marks the beginning of a six month experiment to change my life.
I spent the better part of July fishing, working on a book (more on that later) and recovering from a year of teaching Junior High. And when I mean ‘recovering’, I mean eating, fishing and sleeping (usually in that order, several times a day). And I read. As a result, I’m now rested, I weigh more, and I have a plan.
Most people read books on fiction when they’re on holidays because it’s the best way to relax. But not me. I’m always reading some self-help book or other about how to manifest your life, find your destiny and live the life you deserve. As a result of this psychosis, I’ve read everything out there and followed every sign there is, (much to the head-shaking dismay of my patient family) to both greater and lesser effect.
I once wrote a screenplay that won a national competition (nothing came of it), got a full scholarship to Law school (which ended before I could finish) and moved to another country for love (which also didn’t work). All because I open every damn door that comes my way because I think it’s a sign that this is what I’m suppose to be doing to lead a creative, abundant, life. And it never is. At least not yet.
But I try. God knows I try. And I’m so confident that I’m on the cusp of spilling over to the effortless side of things that I’ve decided to document my progress.
This time I’m using a few principles of success taught by Jack Canfield (hereafter referred to as Jack) and some great advice found in Timothy Ferriss’ book (a.k.a. Ferriss), “The Four-hour Workweek”.
Why is this so different than any other time or any other project? I don’t know exactly. I just know it is. Something is different. And I’m out to prove it. I’m going to prove that if I make a roll-over contract with the universe by documenting my progress and being accountable to both myself and others (while also taking action to do my bit at the practical level), my life will be entirely different in six months.
July 27, 2009
It’s the first official day of my ubermensch life-changing experiment and I’m slacking. What is this uber term you ask? Nietzsche first coined the term “ubermensch” to describe the higher state to which he felt men might aspire.
In any case, the day’s not over yet. I’m going over to B’s (she’s my accountability partner - hereafter referred to as AP) to help her chuck things from her bunny-dust gathering bedroom.
(I still think she could make enough money from her garage sale of Salvation Army bound items to bank us a trip to Bali, but it’s not my call to make).
But I am going to be ruthless with her stuff. That’s easy ‘cause it’s not mine. I’m hoping that clearing the space in her apartment will help to clear the space in my head. That’s usually how it works. Just ask Jack who recommends cleaning up your messes as paramount to moving on.
Back to my accountability partner.
I love my accountability partner. Jack recommends everybody have one. The title speaks for itself. They’re the ones who light firecrackers behind you when you start to slack. My accountability partner called this morning to check how my writing was going and when I told her I was “boinkin’ the dog” (a Canadian term for doing bugger all), she said:
“Then just write when you’re inspired.”
“No Bonnie. That’s not how it works, but bless your unconditional God-loves-you-no-matter-how-little-you-accomplish heart for saying so. Now pretend you’re my agent and ask me how the writing is coming along. And put a little nervous edge to it.”
“So, how’s the writing coming along?”
“It sucks. And if you ask me again, you’re fired.”
“Is this the part where I’m suppose to cry?”
And so marks the first half of my day. If anything truly constructive gets done, I’ll let you know before midnight.
......
11:54. I messed with the font in chapter one. After I wrote it. Okay, I after I wrote some of it. Well, I after I edited some of what I already wrote. A little.
Tomorrow is another day.
July 28, 2009
I’m giving myself deadlines. They always work. I get into a frenzy about how I’m going to get imaginarily fired if I don’t do this or that by a certain date.
And it’s not fired really, now that I think about it, because I never really cared about that. It’s more like self-abnegation. That works wonders.
It’s the lingering Catholic in me. All I have to do is tell myself that my life will be RUINED if I don’t do this or that on time (and do it right), that I’m the world’s biggest loser because I couldn’t handle a simple task, and I’m going to hell if I fail. The beauty is, it’s all self-imposed. I was born like this. And I refuse to get therapy to cure myself of it, because I like it. (Which is probably another sickness in itself but why open that can of worms)?
A quick memo on last night at my AP's – it was a great success. I now have her on deadlines too. But she can handle it. She’s a Capricorn like me.
.....
It’s almost 8 pm.... it was a family day – never a waste of time if your family doesn’t suck. And just because it’s ‘family’ doesn’t mean they’re good for you. Just like not all babies are cute. Ever see a baby that doesn’t really look human and other people are coo-ing at it and you’re thinking, ‘what’s up with that!?’ and you’re convinced when they turn around they’ll say something to their friend about that child that will revert them back to the life of a rabbit bound for a hawk’s meal in the next leg of their karmic journey?
Love is blind when it comes to babies, which is exactly as it should be. Not so with your family. Whether they gave birth to you (mother), fed you (father, mother, or both) or you, them (children), doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be around them. They’re people just like everyone else. And those that are negative are probably best kept at bay.
I’m here to tell you blood is not thicker than water.
And if you’re not sure because you’re so caught up in family stuff (a.k.a. drama) that you’re part of their self-destructive mess, test it out. Put a photo of your family right in front of your work space so when you look up from your computer (or papers, or whatever) you see them. If you have to stop yourself from slamming it face down chances are they’re not on your team.
Now it is possible that they’re super supportive and you are your own worst enemy, engaging in self-destructive behaviour and isolation, but that’s beyond the scope of my expertise and the focus of this experiment.
Thank God my family doesn’t suck. And sometimes, even though you are following to the letter what some of these books are preaching (and correctly so) about the path to success, other obligations get in the way.
The trick is to figure out the difference between an authentic distraction and an excuse. Taking a family member for surgery is an authentic distraction. Going to the hairdresser’s with your friend to give her moral support while she gets her locks chopped off for the first time since grade school is not. But only you can gauge it. But be ruthless.
So, that was a long way of saying I didn’t get a whole lot of writing done today. But, I did move forward in one area suggested by Tim as being so vital, it should be your first order of business.
I got a desk.
I know what you’re thinking. So what? But you don’t know what a big deal this is. I have a huge dining table that fits eight – it was the first thing I bought when I moved to my apartment. I didn’t have a couch, but I got a big-ass table. Why? It had to be big enough to fit every family member over for dinner because I like to feed people. Don’t ask me why. It’s innate and I’ve accepted it as part of what gives me great pleasure. And I use it as a desk.
I have so much crap all over this big ass table that my family members have to squish to one side to eat while I slide my books and papers over, adamantly refusing to give up too much space because I’ve spent hours constructing logical piles for all my folders (and God help you if you so much as lay a finger on those piles stocking one on top of the other to make room).
But now I have a desk.
Ferriss suggests you separate your work space from every other space in your life.
Never work where you sleep, work where you eat, or work where you relax. Sitting down at a designated work space makes it harder to boink the dog when you sit down to get stuff done.
.....
It’s extremely late and I’m too tired to get any writing done. I’m reading fiction before going to bed, (another Ferris suggestion as the best way to unwind). The book I chose is “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho. I started reading it in the hospital today. It’s highly inspiring (both Jack and Ferris state inspiring literature as a vital component to motivation).
So today, I got two things accomplished.
1) I got a desk (and will carefully transpose my stuff to it tomorrow)
2) I read something inspiring.
Not bad. Jack claims you must do 5 things per day that move you forward in one of the 7 areas of your life that you have determined are important. (More on that tomorrow). Ferris says you must do 2. But really, they’re both on the same page because when Jack Canfield was working to promote “Chicken Soup for the Soul”, he had a partner and that goal of five was split between them.
Out of 10, I’d say today was an 8, authentic distraction n’ all...
July 29, 2009
Fait accomplit! I transposed the piles from my dining table to my desk (except for my computer). That’s going to require some weaning.
Today’s goals:
1) Work on chapter one
2) Talk to a guy about a car
3) Join the YMCA
4) Finish reading “The Alchemist”
.....
So far, I haven’t done squat on chapter one, but I did talk to a guy about trading in my car and I’ve made plans with my accountability partner to hit the Y before dinner.
Here’s the thing. I asked the universe for a desk when I got back from my vacation and I got one – free of charge – from someone in my building who didn’t have room for their never-used desk.
Now I’m asking the universe to help me car shop for something affordable, in better shape than what I currently own, and looks ‘really cute’ because frankly I think I deserve it. I’m a ‘way-under-3G’ car owner who is ready to step up to a ‘3G-including-trade-in-but-not-burning-oil-and-cute-as-a-button’ car owner. And by golly, it’s lookin’ good.
It’s the “ask-for-what-you-deserve-and-act-like-it” part of my 6 month experiment.
If the universe conspires to give us what we desire and we do our part to meet it half-way and really feel like we deserve it, then no request is unreasonable. Trust the process.
I’m not job-less, I’m in the midst of a career change. I’m not running errands, I’m preparing myself for opportunity by cleaning up my messes and getting the little things done. When I leave the house to go to the store, I dress like I’m on my way to a meeting. And not one those “why-did-you-drag-me-out-of-bed-for-this” meetings, but rather a “check-out-this-contract-they’re-offering-me!” meeting.
As a result, I’m more aware. And that means I will be ready when hard work meets opportunity. (At least that’s the theory).
I better get to the first part of the equation – hard work. (Don’t worry Ferriss, once the foundation is set, I’m aiming for that 4-hour work week of yours).
.....
Ya gotta love Jack Canfield’s story. After being rejected by 144 publishers, some smart bastard said yes to his ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul’ book. This lucky man, can now sip Mai Tais for the rest of his life from those over-priced water bungalows in Bora Bora. (The publisher that is, Jack probably owns Bora Bora). I tell ya, if there’s anyone I want to listen to about perseverance, it’s him.
According to Jack, there are the 7 areas of your life that require focus if you want to be successful. If you manage them all, consider yourself a well-rounded person.
Each area must be broken down into 3 separate goals (specific to each person). I fleshed this out until I knew exactly what I wanted to accomplish. It took a few evenings and some shots of tequila to get it just right. (It’s harder than it looks but a fantastic exercise). So knock yourself out. And if you want more guidance, see Jack’s book “The Success Principles”.
This is my interpretation of the seven areas:
1. Money (saving it, investing it, making it grow)
2. Career (moving up, moving on, or moving out and into something else)
3. Relationships (romance, friendships, family members)
4. Physical Health and Fitness (goals that make one a stronger, more efficient, yet centered person – everything from a better diet to meditation)
5. Recreation and Fun (what have you always wanted to do? Swim with the dolphins? Go to Spain? This is about what gives you joy – pure, guilt-less pleasure just because)
6. Personal Goals (self-improvement: learning another language, dance lessons, any kind of personal growth)
7. Contribution to Others (what are you giving back? Charities, volunteering, small acts of kindness all qualify)
The big one for me is career – my goal is to make an excellent living as a writer. I’m going to write not only one bestseller, but at least two (gulp). And now that I’ve stuck my foot in my mouth, it’s time to work on chapter one (again). I won’t be back until it’s done because talk is cheap and I can talk forever.
(Just so you know I’ve already completed chapters two, three and four. But no book ever started on chapter two).
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11:58 pm: I never worked on chapter one, I didn’t go to the Y and I fell twenty pages short of finishing “The Alchemist”. Bugger.
July 30, 2009
You know how some people jump out of bed in the morning ready to meet the day and others need to be left alone until they’ve washed their face, had their coffee, brushed their teeth and listened to the morning news? I’m the former. But when it comes to my work, I’m the latter. Sometimes I need to be left alone until I wear myself out thinking that I didn’t finish what I set out to finish until I finally get around to it. And I don’t think I’m the only one who does this. It’s a nasty place better known as Excuse City.
Writing, like every other job, is best accomplished at a steady pace and done every day at the same time. Creating space for that more positive, less stressful habit, (regardless of extenuating circumstances such as surgery in the family) is also going to be part of this six month experiment. A big part. It’s key. It’s such a key component that I would venture to say it unlocks the doors to Success City.
But screw writing. Today I joined the Y!
Granted, I had no idea what I was doing when I attempted a workout ‘routine’ (what the hell is circuit training anyway? Sounds like something electricians do) but I pretended I’d been at it for years. And the only reason I did most machines backwards was the silly diagram on the side of each contraption was poorly drawn. And I still don’t know what a crunch is. (I thought it had something to do with peanut butter).
But I’m learning, and I had a blast riding my stationary bike through the Mayan Ruin Trails video screen in front of me. The only problem was while my accountability partner was chasing down her opponents through the Pacific Coast version (and came in second!) I was content to remain at a resistance level of 2 because I was enjoying the scenery in Mexico way too much. I came in dead last. So while she got in a great cardio workout, all I got was a craving for cervecas and nachos.
Next time, I’ll choose a less distracting route. Today was just a dry run. I forgive myself.
And today, I also finished reading The Alchemist. I know what you’re thinking. That finishing a novel is not a big deal, but really it is, for two reasons. 1) I told Bonnie I’d get the book back to her in a couple of days and I did – speaks to intent and following through - and 2) the book was all about learning to read the signs, listening to your heart, and following your destiny no matter what. Why? BECAUSE GOD WANTS YOU TO. And since my little experiment is really a result of my trying to do the same, I figure coming across that book was a sign.
I am in good hands my friends, I am in good hands.
