Saturday, October 16, 2010
The Art of a Strong Support System - PART III
I feel stuck this morning.
Not in a really bad way. Just in a I-want-to-get-to-my-writing-but-not-motivated kind of way. The discipline is probably there, but the will is lacking.
Thank God for discipline because I'll do it anyway.
And thank God for my support systems because this is a day I will probably call upon them for a little distraction and pick-me-up.
And if they're all busy? I'll rent a movie or two, pull out those books I need to finish, and carry on.
Getting moral support from your friends is never set in stone. Nor is it a black and white proposition. It requires the malleability of understanding and a certain maturity. Just because they can't today, doesn't mean they wont tomorrow. Or the next day.
It also requires a knowing that you can go it alone today if you have to. Life is built on these sorts of waves and they always pass. Besides, it doesn't mean you are being abandoned by your pack.
I think that's a mistake many people make as they feel 'let down' by others for not being there every time they need them. But perhaps their tank was empty too. Or they needed their energy for other matters they didn't particularly wish to share at the time. It's this ability to be understanding and compassionate that makes this very important dynamic work.
I've been reading a book lately called "Younger Next Year - Living fit, Strong and Sexy Until You're 80 and Beyond". It's fabulous, well written and motivating.
The last section is all about the biology of emotion. It very clearly describes the function of our limbic system (before and now) and how being part of a 'pack' is not only natural, but necessary.
We don't have a choice.
Because of the limbic way we're made, we are not emotional islands. Simply put, we complete each other. In both good and bad ways to be sure, but we do complete each other and therefore we cannot make it alone... p 302.
He goes on to explain that our limbic brain is designed to make sense of the visual world by assessing its emotional effect on our lives. More so than it does for say, making standard detailed visual observations (colors, things, spatial placements of objects, etc).
We have these little things called mirror neurons (and there are millions of them) whose only job it is to pick up on emotions (which happens in our limbic brain) and that's the seat of our biological infrastructure for empathy.
So whether we like it or no, we are physically and biologically designed not only to connect with others, but to make millions of micro-assessments of our emotional world every day, all day long.
In other words, even if we don't think it's that important, our bodies seem to think so. It's how we spend most of our subconscious energy.
Hmmm.
It must be pretty damn important.
Now that there's proof that it's vital to your well being, you have to figure out what kind of pack is beneficial to you and what isn't. There's basically three kinds.
PACK #1 - The 'yes' pack. The yes pack is composed of a group of people who give each other moral support no matter what.
PACK #2 - The party pack. The party pack is composed of people who are always ready to support you in getting away from your problems.
PACK #3 - The 'Tell-it-like-it-is' pack. These guys are the ones who don't let you get away with squat but support what's in your best interest at the time.
Next time - The pros and cons of each pack and taking off your rose-colored glasses....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment