October 7, 2009 - Lessons from Indiana and givin ‘er for the last time.

First there was givin ‘er.

Then there was givin ‘er one more time.

Now there’s givin ‘er for the last time.

Next time, it’ll be given ‘er just one more time followed by givin’ ‘er for the REALLY last time.

And finally:

Always givin’ er.

‘Cause I guess that’s what it comes down to.

As I was rereading the last two blog entries to ensure I wasn’t whining about what went down in Indiana, I realized there was something I needed to clarify:

Ours is not a hard luck story.

I’m sure after reading the next couple of entries some of you will be thinking, what the hell is she talking about? And I won’t even tell you about the early life my boys and I endured living with their father who remained an undiagnosed (and violent), paranoid schizophrenic. Some things are just better left in the past.

And don’t bother asking Ryan about it. He’ll just shake his head and say, ‘it doesn’t matter anymore.’ Because the truth is - it doesn’t. But it does impact how you view all of your experiences forever after. It’s all relative.

So like I said, ours is not a hard luck story.

And the only reason I mention the above is because anytime any one of us (me, Ryan or his two brothers) thought we were gonna crack when things got too tough to handle, we would look at each other with that knowing because we understood each other the way war veterans do - silently and with connected memories no one but us could possibly fathom.

Then someone would invariably pipe up and say:

“We survived the old man. Seriously. This is a joke compared to that.”

And suddenly whoever was feeling overwhelmed by life actually chuckled, because they remembered, the worst really was over.

And it was time to give ‘er just one more time.

That’s what we used to remind ourselves back in Indiana when things weren’t looking so good for a scholarship - This is a joke compared to that.

Like I said before this is not a hard luck story.

It’s about making a conscious choice, givin’ it your best shot and having no regrets.

NEXT - PART IV - The Unravelling of a Dream