You just never know where your next inspiration hails... PART I

... or from where will come a gentle reminder that life extends beyond our own peripheral vision.

And I got it as a facebook post from a guy who was part of the "Fargo Bus Group":

David H. saw a grey whale blow spray while surfing the westport jetty today with snowy mountains and a full ass moon behind me as the sun was dropping into the sea. mama nature in full effect!! topped off with some cave singers and a fresh cup of jo from the hungry whale gas station for the drive home. shredding life...

And I muttered to myself: Well would ya look at that! There IS a world that exists outside of my self-imposed cynicism!

WHO KNEW?!

As a quick recap, the "Fargo Bus Group" was born out of a Greyhound bus trip adventure back in July.

We were stranded in Fargo for a few hours when our bus missed its connection due to a passenger-related border delay from Winnipeg to Chicago.

With lots of time to kill in a tiny bus station, someone piped up:

"Who wants to go for a beer?"

A few people stood up: Anna from New Zealand, the teachers/roommates from Alberta, me n' Roy from Winnipeg, some dude from Montreal and David from San Diego.

And we headed out to surf the downtown area of Fargo for a place that served cheap beer and bar munchies, swap stories of where we were going and make the best of our delay.

The things I learned that afternoon were invaluable.

Like, if you mix beer with fruit punch it makes a refreshing summer drink. And how to inject vodka properly into watermelon to give it a real kick. And how surfing conditions are different depending on what beach you're on; Thailand, Bali, or the California Coast.

As you can probably guess by now, I became more a receiver of information than a contributor.

(Memories of college days that had sorely evaded me).

But strangely enough one of the things we had in common despite our age differences, was how we all believed that life was meant to be lived, not endured.

And that delays, side tracks and other circumstances that encourage patience, flexibility or a sudden change of plans is part n' parcel with life and should be embraced because they all offer opportunities for connecting with new people, slowing down, and blah blah blah.

I've said all this before.

So why was it so important to me today?

Well, I've been in limbo city since I discovered this whole literary process thing is going to take longer than originally anticipated. And reading David's facebook post gave me the lift I needed.

Sometimes, you just have to ride the wave and take stock of what's around you and remember that recognizing the truth of what exists in that moment is a gift that is unique.

And also, what you do with it.

David shared what he saw. It was that simple.

And it affected me positively in a much greater way than he probably ever anticipated when he wrote it.

I observe life. I point out the innane. And I hope that someone along the way will also benefit once in a while, from my observations.

The truth of the matter is, I think my intentions with this book were pretty straight-forward.

Using my own experiences as 'what not to do', I discovered some red flags and funny advice bits I hope will benefit others looking for love online.

I guess the bottom line is, I still think that we are accountable for whatever we do on some level to each other, to society, and to the Universe.

Okay, I admit it, writing a survival guide on Internet Dating isn't on the same level as Doctors Without Borders or Amnesty International. But hey, even those guys need love.

Everybody does.

And if my little part helps others feel more confident about getting out there and dating again by showing there's light at the end of the tunnel (and I'm not talking Near Death Experience though a break-up often feels like it) - then by golly, I've achieved my purpose!

And the only reason I started thinking about this today is because I was stuck wondering what kind of blog post I should write when my son said:

"Why don't you talk about Ashley Madison"?

"Who's Ashley Madison?"

But I think I'll leave that for next time...

Na na na na na na na na Batman!

Batman! da na na na na na na na Batman! da na na na na na na na, BATMAN! da na na na na na na na batman! da na na na na na na na BATMAN! Batman! Batman! da na na na na na na na... !!!

Before there was Michael Keaton, before sexy Val Kilmer, before most eligible bachelor George Clooney, or dark brooding Christian Bale... there was the one... the only... ADAM WEST.

And if any of you were actually singing to the opening da na na na na na na, theme song to this post, then you know the legend of whom I speak.

BLAM! KAPOW! BOOM!

And tonight, at the largest comic convention in the prairies, Mr. Adam West warmly returned my handshake accompanied by words so flattering they would have melted dark chocolate on a iceberg floating in the Atlantic on a cold January morning.

To anyone but a trained eye, it would have looked (and sounded) a lot like he was flirting. And to my boys, the story will always be:

"Remember the time when Batman hit on mom?"

But keeping my fragile female vanity in check (and to be fair to all the other adoring fans), he was, upon keen observation, simply portraying the true picture of grace and appreciation that he is.

On some level, here was a man who understood that adoring fans (and the timeless popularity of an iconic series based on one of DC's greatest heroes), were directly responsible for affording him this unbelievable life.

Think about it. He gets to make people happy with his mere presence. And makes a lot of money doing it. Bonus!

But not all celebrities feel that way.

There are enough stories of celebs who make no bones about their distaste for the paparazzi and adoring fans to make you wonder why they ever chose acting in the first place.

But then again, like everything else, it all comes down to that feeling thing again.

And I bet Adam West is a lot happier than someone like Megan Fox whose negativity on set is becoming legendary among crew members (who long for the day when she is a has-been doing porn for less than a hooker makes on nickel day as punishment for being evil to people who have done nothing but show her unwarranted civility).

It may sound corny, but being grateful for the little things is a big deal when it comes to the quality of your life. It has to do again, with perception.

As you think, so you shall be.

And experience has taught me that people who are grateful for where they are in life and what they have regardless of what it is (ie; dreams achieved or not), are simply better off on all levels.

Ironically, being grateful usually brings it own reward in the form of serendipitous events that carry within them seeds of opportunity that hold the potential to propel one forward to the very goals that elude them.

But in the end, it wouldn't be nearly as much fun without those struggles.

Our best stories - the ones shared over drinks at the bar, or at backyard parties - are comprised of the struggles we endured along the way and how alive some of those challenges made us feel as each one tested our character to the limit.

I'm sure whoever set up the game, had this in mind.

Or in the words of Robin:

The way we get into these scrapes and get out of them, it's almost as though someone was dreaming up these situations; guiding our destiny. - Robin

So whether Adam West was destined to be Batman, or Megan Fox destined to be the hot chick in action flicks, or whether I am destined to be a best-selling author is something we'll never know.

But we control the journey to a large extent, with our attitudes.

And I for one, would like to thank Mr. Adam West for reminding me.

Once more with feeling...

Just so y'all know... acting "as if" is not about owning a BMW.

It never was. It could be, if that's what floated my boat. But it doesn't have to be.

It's all about the feeling.

Manifesting principles are all about working and feeling your way to a better life, to a better frame of mind.

And in my books, the best kind of life has to do with quality - not quantity.

That means quality of living, quality of time well spent. Less 9-5, more doing what I was designed to do in life (and from wherever I choose), while balancing that 'career' with a bucket list that sounds more like a permanent adventure vacation mixed in with rest periods of rejuvenating hedonism.

How do I feel getting up in the morning, about to face another day of what it is that I do? Am I doing what I do best? Or am I just doing what I am doing because those are the cards I was dealt?

I believe in stacking the deck in one's favor.

Ferriss refers to quality of life as that which gives you the most freedom. In doing so, he compares relative income to absolute income. Relative income uses two variables (p. 36) - dollar and time, while absolute income uses one -dollar.

If you make $100,000 a year by working 80 hours a week, you've worked a total of 4,160 hours - minus your 80 hours vacation per year - 4,080 hours. $100,000 divided by 4,080 = approximately $24.50/hr.

That's your hourly wage.

And if you're lucky, you've had 2 weeks in the sun as a respite from all that stress. But your absolute income is $100,000.

Say you make an income of $50,000 a year, but work only 10 hours a week, you start to factor in the free time you have. This becomes relative income. 10 hours a week works out to 520 hours a year. 50,000 divided by 520 = you're making approximately $96/hr.

Dude B is making almost four times as much as dude A given the amount of time each spends actually working. It's all relative.

If you love what you do to the point where those hours feel more like fun than work, then by all means, knock yerself out. But my guess is that's the exception, not the norm for most people.

And to participate in a lifestyle that is based on relative income, you have to have an idea, a job, or a platform upon which you can slowly extricate yourself from the rat race, one hour at a time, until you are performing your 'duties' either remotely or without so many hours of stress-inducing office-environment obligations.

Hence the book. Which requires (almost always) an agent, who is part of a hierarchy without which your chances of having publishing doors open are practically nil - guaranteed.

(We are practically invisible in this world without the chains of command that bind us to each other).

Here's where that 'feeling' comes in again: It's only a good feeling when you control it and make it so.

If someone in the chain of command of your life - someone to which you have given certain power, responsibility or emotional authority - either doesn't step up to the plate, falls short, or is too busy to do so, then that feeling you have managed to sustain may be in jeopardy - UNLESS, you have a backup plan.

As I am slowly discovering, I will be waiting for weeks before anything I wrote will be read by my agent, let alone sent to a publishing house because, "That's just the way it is. Things move slowly in the field of publishing." One client at a time...

I won't get into the details that made me feel like I should have been mailed one of those numbers you pull from the dispenser at a deli along with my contract, except that I am in a 'queue' patiently waiting my turn.

And I have no choice. Or do I?

After getting over the shock that I am insignificant in the large scheme of things because I am unknown, unproven and unpublished, I turned once again to the thing that drives me forward...

Call it a feeling

It took me a few days to generate that feeling again that told me a combination of faith and hard work was my surefire recipe for success, but I got it back.

After managing to successfully generate and sustain a limitless possibilities feeling, based purely on speculation alone, unrecognized talent and sheer determination I am ashamed to admit, one conversation was all it took to send me spinning backwards into doubt mode.

And it wasn't even my agent's fault. She's just swamped and busy beyond. I could hear it in her voice. (That, and she asked me the same questions she did before, the answers to which she already knew).

I still think she's a gunner. I just have to give her time. But that's not the point.

Like I've said before - we are entirely responsible for our own 'feelings'. And those feelings are largely what dictates our successes and our failures.

I may not be able to control what anyone else says or does (or doesn't say or do for that matter), but the one thing I can control is how I respond.

That was a huge lesson for me this week. And it took me a few days until I could even write about it because I was so choked.

Now however, I'm back on board and ready for a new strategy. After all, if I want things to clip along more quickly, nobody's holding me back.

Except me.

Time to get out of my own way.

"Acting as if" - How the Adventure Played Out

Since the Audi dealership was on the way to BMW, it was my AP's turn to go first. Besides, she was better than me at acting "as if" - I had seen her do it before - so I needed to see how things were done.

I parked my car in the adjacent lot and we walked up to the Audi showroom. I had my camera up the left sleeve of my jacket ready to capture an "as if" snapshot at a moment's notice.

When the salesman approached us, I watched in awe as my normally soft-spoken AP pulled off an Oscar-worthy performance, as she (without so much as batting an eyelash) asked the friendly salesman if he had an Audi "cab" she could look at somewhere on the premises.

"Someone just took it out for a test drive. They should be back in about twenty minutes if you care to do the same."

"That would be nice", she said.

Please God, no.I thought.

It is my firm belief that at that moment, the Gods heard me and set up a traffic jam to prevent such an occurrence as this vehicle never made it back in time before we left.

Once we were actually in the showroom, I bantered far too much with the salesman (a transparent ploy to hide my nervousness) as my AP gracefully climbed behind the wheel of a vehicle that vastly exceeded my yearly earnings and asked me to take a photo of her from every angle.

Every angle???All I could think was they would suspect we were setting things up for a B & E Hollywood style like bank robbers do with hidden cameras before a heist.

But, never to cower before a challenge, I proceeded to tell the salesman an 'insider's' tidbit - "She just wants to see how she looks in it before she buys. She thinks black washes her out - she's an 'autumn'" and looked at him with that 'you know' to emphasize that innate fashion sense every woman is born with.

Much to my relief, it worked. We left shortly thereafter but not before my AP promised the salesman she would be in touch by Tuesday if she was interested to discuss her order.

Nice touch.

Now it was my turn.

As we made the trek to BMW, as good as I felt and as valuable as I found this exercise to be, there was NO WAY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH I could legitimately pretend I was buying a Beamer.

The best I could muster was "Just looking". And on that note, I wasn't budging.

I had to work my way up to the extreme role-playing mode until such a time as the thought that God might smote me down for such folly was completely eradicated from my mind.

The way I saw it, guilt was bound to defeat the prupose of this exercise. Better to start small, then go big over time. I was after all, only in the process of building up to the belief that I was worth it. On many levels, my AP was already there.

So we compromised.

I found my chosen convertible BMW cabriolet in the parking lot and meekly asked my AP if she could take my picture leaning against it so we could call it a day and go for beer n' Nachos. I was starving.

NO

So we entered the showroom guided by a devilishly handsome salesman with a dry sense of humor who knew the ins and outs of the BMW body the way bunnies do the Playboy Mansion. He then explained that "BMW owners are a fun, active lot, who seem to enjoy life more than most".

That's me! This is good! I could feel my comfort level rising. Keep talkin'.

And that's when I saw it:

the 2010 BMW 6 series Cabriolet in black.

Her top was down and she was calling me.

We stepped towards the car and suddenly the grin on my face was unmistakeable. As the salesman went to his office to fetch the brochure my AP asked him to get for me, she turned to me and said:

"Get in."

With some trepidation, I climbed into the driver's seat cognizant of the fact that I was only there for the experience and looked around me at all the gadgets wondering if it would ever feel the way it did for my AP back at Audi.

Slowly, I realized - She was beautiful.

Before I knew it, I had run my finger across the real wood finishing, gently caressed the heated steering wheel with awe, and stroked the leather seats that I was now convinced were mine.

Oh yeah babi. I was all over it.

By the time the salesman had returned with my glossy brochure, my AP had taken four shots of me in the car from various angles. But I was in my own little world.

As the salesman opened the car door and smiled down at me, there was only one thing on my mind. I turned to him and said:

"Does it come in white?"

I was hooked.

And I finally accepted that I was having fun. I felt like a kid in a candy store.

Suddenly it was easy to let the salesman talk about all the features of each car and tell me in great detail about the craftsmanship and engineering genius of BMW and the color combinations available in each series, because I was genuinely interested in a way that exceeded mere curiosity.

I was relegating this information to memory for future use. For my future self. And I was as giddy as a school girl experiencing the joy of her first crush.

Yes indeed. In that moment, I OWNED my future self. And it felt great.

By the end of our little adventure, I was sold on a white, Series 6 BMW Convertible Cabriolet with a tan top and tan interior. Or "at the very least", I told my new 'friend', "I'm going to lease one some day soon." and meant it.

Piece o' cake.

Next - Celebrating the half-way point - Where do we go from here.

Acting "As If" - the morning set-up

I woke up Saturday with the sore throat I had been fighting all week and said to myself: As if! Not today of all days!

...and decided right then and there that nothing, and I mean nothing was about to distract me from the task at hand.

So I prepared.

I knew I had some time before I had to pick up my AP and thought I should get into character from the get-go.

So after winding myself up to a degree of enthusiasm exceeded only by the jackpot winnner of the nickel slots in Vegas, I managed to choke down two cups of a Tibetan tea recipe that challenged my gag reflex but knocked my startled virus into different time zone.

Happy with my progress thus far, I set about thinking:

Today is all about me. So what would make me happy?

Well, the sun for one thing.

It had been unusually cloudy of late and frankly that was starting to piss me off. Not that I suffer from S.A.D. or anything but a sunny day is like medicine for the soul. So I decided I was going to get me some.

I hit a tannning salon for 8 minutes of glorious manmade UVA rays and imagined I was in Hawaii catching a few while waiting for my surfing lesson to start.

Then I washed my car. After all, if I'm about to trade it in for a BMW, I would make sure it was clean!

Then I went to the store and picked up a box of organic green mix (not something I normally do as it's pricier) and then adamantly refused to buy the option 2 box of chicken I wanted as this was after all, suppose to be a day when one does not settle for second best. So I didn't.

Yep, I am proud to say I silenced the bargain shopper in me faster than the mob silences the idiot who leaves a witness protection program of their own volition.

Then I went to the gym. Great workout. Not too much, just enough to feel good, not sore or strained.

Came home, showered, napped briefly, changed, grabbed my camera and left.

So far, it was the perfect day.

First stop - Audi